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Don't Ruin Your Man

Don't Ruin Your Man

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The Red Pill (TRP) tends to put men in 2 categories - Alpha and Beta.   

Most women think they want an Alpha, that they are the most attractive of the two. They have high testosterone, killer bodies, are healthy financially, and dominate all aspects of life.  They are the hardest eggs to crack when it comes to commitment.  

Then you have the Beta - the guy that cow-tows to women, that doesn't take personal responsibility for his decisions in life, that let's the woman "lead" and faithfully and unquestioningly provides for his woman - deserved or not.

We all know that these 2 categories of men are ARCHETYPES, and that no man is ever 100% one or the other.  In fact, the best man for most of us is a blend of the two in ways that dynamically fit every relationship.  That said, there are a few foundations that every relationship needs to succeed long term.

He must be unafraid (and willing) to lead, and she must TRUST his leadership.

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Women are the best partners when they are relaxed.  They take care of the people they love best when they are allowed to focus on the people they love and put them first.  This can't happen if she's not just working full time, but coming home to cook, clean, do homework with the kids, do the baths and bedtimes, straighten up, pack lunches for the next day and then finally plop down with one hour to relax before bed time and is then expected to be the best horny slut this side of the Mississippi. A woman bogged down with filing the taxes, paying bills, doing yard work, or whatever is not going to be a good lover. She's going to be stressed out, tired and her sex drive is going to tank.  A woman sapped of energy can barely take care of herself.  Her man's sexual needs are an afterthought, if thought of at all.  

Here is where men need to step up and understand that she is taking on too much. This is where his leadership is required.  He can take control of a situation by problem solving, pitching in, or even taking the time and energy to plan some one on one time to bring her stress levels down.  He can hire an accountant, a weekly housekeeping service for the deep cleanings, take over a few nights a week on the things he can do.  If a woman is doing it all and he is on the couch drinking himself to death, or using every excuse in the book to not do something, she will lose respect for him and therefore attraction.

By the same token, a woman must TRUST and ALLOW a man to take things out of her 'control' and step back.  This can be difficult for women to do. They don't start out wanting to do it all.  Sometimes you just have to.  So keeping the lines of communication open rather than buttoning up and internalizing things can be key.  Also a man must be aware enough to recognize when the balance in a relationship is off.  

Women often want to protect their men from stress outside of work.  They will start doing little things until it becomes all too much and things spiral out of control, starting with resentment.  If you find yourself doing this, it's often not him NOT stepping up, is you not being communicative and not allowing him to lead.  If you are stressed out, talk about it.  Don't nag, but have a constructive conversation on how you can work together to get the best outcome for your family long term.  Women don't need to protect men, and women often BETA-ize men in relationships by doing this.

Relationships are a Two Way Street

I will give you a personal example.  Last week was very stressful for me at work.  Like a grown woman almost in tears stressful out of frustration (gotta love technology that doesn't work) and fear of losing a large account.  I messaged my man that I was on the verge and he immediately called me.  He knows he can't do anything about what is going on at work but he can take the load off when I get home.  He talked me through it and offered to take over making dinner (WHAAATTT???) so that I can relax and spend time with the kiddo.  When I got home I found the kitchen clean, the kiddo in a good mood, and he grilled up some burgers for us.  He didn't "demand" sex that night knowing a good nights sleep would payoff.  And it did. The next day I solved the issue and got everything working and may have saved the account! That night I dressed up in lipstick and heels and thanked him physically.  This is how it goes in our house.

Now TRP would say "he cooked? he's beta!" or "he's a simp, letting his woman work" or something stupid like that.  Honestly, my man is Alpha as they come, but he UNDERSTANDS women.  He knows to make this work, it's a two way street. I am a strong nurturer, and he knows if I'm relaxed, I am the best partner I can be.  We control our controllables to make this work.  When you stop doing that, stop understanding, stop trying, you are doomed.

Ladies, don't ruin your man.  Don't let life get in the way of your understanding of our natures and what will keep relationships healthy long term.  There is no one right way to red pill a relationship, but there is something to understanding the what and the why in the differences between men and women. So allow yourself to give up so much control. If you trust your man, nothing says so like showing him.  Do what you each are best at.  Help him be the man you fell in love with and be even better.  Enable him, don't emasculate him.   

Thoughts? I'd love your comments.

Be well.
  -- RRPW

Taking Responsibility

Taking Responsibility

Welcome to Real Red Pill Woman

Welcome to Real Red Pill Woman