Never Let Your Guard Down
I have been taking time over the past few days to think about how easy it is to get comfortable in a relationship. I've come to realize that, just like at work, getting too comfortable can get you fired.
Comfort seeps in where you least expect it. It germinates into backsliding behavior that you blame on 'not paying attention' or 500 other excuses (i.e. tired, distracted, busy, stressed, etc). You start to forget that the little things do matter. The devil is in our behavior details. A man who pays attention will call you out on these little things and stop them before they turn into something larger.
“No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.” is a quote on responsibility that I once said to my team at work. I think on this now and realize that the little things like leaving a bit of a mess, not correcting kiddo's behavior, failing to do things to completion, can also be indicative of letting things slide in your relationship.
When was the last time you did something SPECIAL for you man? Outside of the normal expectations. The second you start to take him for granted, is the second you start to mentally check out. It is OUR responsibility to keep ourselves engaged.
It is never just one thing. It's often a confluence of events that leads to a backslide. Forgetting to say thank you, or giving a kiss goodbye. Leaving the dishes undone and going to bed. Leaving for work without making the bed. Putting your hair in a pony tail 5 days in a row and not trying to be attractive, taking his sex drive as validation enough.
In a relationship, you can't let your guard down. You can't afford to take ANYTHING for granted. Because when it becomes enough for him to take notice, you messed up. He will start to wonder WHERE your attention is going. Once you set the bar, you have to maintain it. You can't just start out at a home run sprint and think you can walk your way to home plate and never have to step up again.
If you create a relationship based on your attentiveness and best behavior, don't think for a second that you can maintain it at less than that. Men will notice, and they will question you.
Yes, life happens and we all have ups and downs. We communicate and understand these. But it's the little things that create rifts in relationships. Not all men will call you out on the little things, but THEY NOTICE THEM. So, notice them first. Check in with your man and ask him if you are doing ok. It's not always obvious to the self-observer.
Never drop your guard. You are responsible for your actions and inaction. You are the protector of your own happiness. It is your responsibility and yours alone.